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| My cousin-in-law-in-law is in labor right now, so in honor of birth days, here's to Micah's 5-and-3-days commemoration. We've been a little late around here... 
Introducing Big Red! Doesn't he look peaceful... (aka the world's most misleading picture)
First birthday and a homemade pumpkin cake (this is before I turned into slacker mom)
 
I know I get Bad Mommy points for including these pictures, but given today's 20 minute tantrum on the potty, I thought it appropriate to take a moment to remember a few epic Micah meltdowns...
 
Getting ready to be a big brother!
Micah and Doosey -- one of my all-time favorite shots 
Third birthday
Fourth birthday
 
November 14, 2009!
This time I bought the pumpkin cake... 
Celebrating with a severely jet-lagged Daddy
I can't believe how much he's grown up. Happy belated birthday, bubs!
love,
yo mama
(I love you with all my heart, tantrums and all, because really, we are two peas in a pod...)
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| Micah is lots of fun to talk to, because he really listens and he remembers everything. He may not remember things exactly the way I say then, but the words that come out of my mouth certainly go into his head, and then come out again in... interesting forms.
A few weeks ago, we were all sitting at the dinner table; out of the blue, Micah matter-of-factly informed his family: "Policemen mostly give tickets to colored people."
A short, awful pause -- and then I said, "WHAT did you say?? What?? Where did you hear THAT??"
Micah looked at me, offended. "YOU said it, Mommy!"
I was horrified. "I'm sure I never said colored... oh." Right then I remembered a conversation we'd had a few days earlier in the car. Micah is obsessed -- OBSESSED -- with driving infractions. Who gets tickets, why they get tickets, what if you drive fast but it's an emergency will you still get a ticket, what if no policeman sees you will you get a ticket, what if you're speeding and the police cars can't catch you will you get a ticket, if you get three tickets will you lose your car, if you get five tickets will you go to jail, what if they don't know it was you driving then do you get a ticket, have you ever gotten a ticket, did you just go through a red light, Mommy, you're going to get a ticket blahdeblahdeblah... I'm not going to lie; it gets a tad bit wearying. So on that particular day, I decided to liven up the conversation by giving him a little lesson about "driving while black" and "racial profiling." And at some point in my lecture, Micah mentally translated my nice PC "people of color" into "colored people."
After we cleared up that little misunderstanding, Micah looked at me earnestly and asked, "Mommy? Am I a people of color?"
How do you answer that question? Because I have to say, while Micah is 25% Japanese, I've never met a whiter person in my life. 
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| Micah: Mommy! Hey, Mommy, what day of the week can you touch the sun and not get burned??
me: Hrmmmm. Is it Saturday?
Micah: NO!! [cracking up]
me: How about Friday? I mean... not-Friday? haha get it? You don't get fried because it's not-Friday???
Micah, scornfully: Noooo. [Obviously, he doesn't get my high-brow humor.]
me: OK. Monday? No. Tuesday? NO?? Wednesday? Thursday? Not-Friday?? [Maybe he'll get it this time. Nope.] Saturday????
Micah, gleefully: No! No no no!!!
me: Hmmmmm. How about... Sunday??
Micah: YES!!!! You GOT IT!! [laughing uncontrollably]
I love kid jokes. At least for the first few hundred times.
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| Micah is very interested in words and word games -- he comes by this naturally, as you might be able to guess from his mother's WordTwist stats (aaaand I just discovered I've played almost 9000 games since November 10, 2008. I believe an intervention is in order.). (Oh wait, that was 9000 rounds. Only 838 games. Should that really make me feel better about myself?) (Who is this post about, anyways?).
So Micah's newest love is homonyms. He gets very excited when he thinks of them, and is always asking me things like, "Mommy! How about 'two'? Is THAT one? Like 'two' the number and going 'to' Safeway??" (Yes, Safeway figures almost as prominently in my kids' lives as WordTwist does in mine; in fact, one of Shiloh's first sentences was, "Go Safeway! Get food!") I've been trying to explain the concept of root words, which is why "air" and "bird" do not count (as in air and airplane, bird and hummingbird). Micah accepts most of my nixing of his proposed homonyms, if a bit begrudgingly (deep down, he's convinced that he knows more than I do. Actually, he's convinced he knows more than most people do.). However, he would not budge on "light" -- as in light bulbs and Israelites.
But at lunch the other day, just when I was starting to feel a little smug about my preschooler and his Precocious Delight In Vocabulary, Micah got bored with the homonym game, and moved on to, shall we say, greener pastures. He gazed down at his bowl of canned pears and animatedly asked me, "Hey, Mommy -- do you wanna see the butt crack of this thing??" It's always good to find connections between fruit and anatomy. Although, for the record, I did not see the butt crack resemblance.
Yesterday afternoon, I listened in, umm, pride, as he composed new lyrics to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it." Perched on the potty, while his brother laughed hysterically at the door, Micah howled, "If you wanna smell some poop, come in here (come in here)."
And I was just about to blame the scatalogical humor on DH, but then I remembered that my sister and I once spent an entire 4-hour ride back from church camp writing a multi-verse song about farts. It rhymed perfectly, the meter flowed smoothly, and we employed words of many syllables. So I guess we're all geniuses in this family.
Geniuses who believe in scapegoating, that is. Yesterday morning, upon hearing screaming from the living room, I stomped in and demanded, "WHY is Shiloh always getting HURT??" (I don't know why I ask stupid questions like this, by the way. Do I really think Micah's going to respond, "Well, I'm having a hard time controlling my emotions, so whenever Shiloh does something to annoy me, I attack him. I'm very sorry, and if we can come up with some appropriate coping mechanisms, I won't do it again.") Micah looked at me and said, "Oh, God." I was quite taken aback for a second -- where did he learn to take God's name in vain?? I don't have pristine language, but I don't do that! -- and then he finished up his sentence. "Oh, God. God made him get hurt."
It's good to know we're raising a staunch Presbyterian with a strong command of the doctrines of predestination and divine omnipotence. Of course, his applications tend to be a little on the self-serving side:
- "Micah, you may not have that book. Shiloh's looking at it. Stop badgering me about it -- no matter how many times you ask me, I'm still going to say the same thing -- and I am not going to let you take it away from him."
- "Wellllllll, I know something that can make you give it to me. GOD can make you give it to me."
- "Today is Friday, so tomorrow is Saturday. That means you won't have school again for 3 more days."
- "Wellllllll, GOD can make me have school tomorrow."
There's just no arguing with the boy.
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| I don't think either of them quite gets it...
Micah: Shiloh! Give that to me!!
Shiloh: NO! MINE!! One... two....
Micah: Three!
Just call him "Badger"
Micah: Mommy, I really want to get cereal that has toys in it.
me: We don't get that kind of cereal.
Micah: Whhhhyyyyyyyyyyy????????
me: It has too much sugar in it.
Micah: But I reeeeeaaaalllllly want to get iiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt..............
me: We're not getting it, bud.
Micah: But WWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????
me: I told you. It's not good for you. It's got too much sugar
.
Micah: But I reeeeeaaaallllyyyyy want it. When can we get it Momeeeeeeeeee??
me: We're not getting it.
Micah: But whyyyyy??? Whhhhyyyyyyy???
me: I am no longer having this conversation with you. [ignore ignore ignore lalalala]
Micah: When can we get it, Mommyyyyy??
me: [ignore ignore ignore LALALALA]
Micah: Mooommmmmmeeeeeeeee I waaaaaaaaaaant iiiiiittttttttttttttttt.....
Finally, I distract him with the train set. Industrious activity ensues. I feel triumphant -- I have successfully redirected Mr. One-track-mind!! I am the queen of mothers!! haHaHA Micah James!!!
Twenty minutes later...
Micah: Mommy, when I'm older can I get that cereal?
We like to set expectations low in the emilymr household.
me: Wow, we've only got 2 weeks until preschool starts up again. We should go do something fun tomorrow.
Micah: I know JUST the thing, Mommy.
me: What's that?
Micah: We can go to Safeway ALL DAY LONG. We can bring a lunch and eat there.
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